I tremble at the thought of writing tonight,

As much as I trembled when I had to meet you

For the very first time.

Adorned by the night now,

Adorned with pearls then,

I hoped to see a queen in your eyes

Unmatched for the ones in all the heavens you sought for.

Or a simple lover forever, if not?

 

(For there is a sad ballad

I will carry with me to my grave tonight.)

 

You left me wordless,

And returned back like the escapist

You are.

Vanishing acts from the betrothed’s room

Into a one-time paramour’s heart.

You left me with the memory of a string of

Desirous notes,

I now have to comb and pluck out of falling fragments of reminisces

Frail as the dreams I once built.

Travelling through random air signals

Were the letters of our

Unmet lust.

 

And when your shadow almost slipped away again

From my vacant hearth,

I begged, I clung,

I loved, I stayed.

I whispered the voice of the woman you wanted,

Into your ears that were never there,

To taste.

Making love with that thin ghost of your

Sad, vapid voice,

While listening to the other ghost in my house

Chew.

Remaining sleepless through your sane remorses

And acidic hallucinations,

Like the faithful concubine

I hoped I would be.

For you, someday.

 

 

I dug into your tomb of decrepit again,

And there you are lying in the arms of yet another nymph

Time and time again.

With nothing to gain,

But the benefit of pain.

Oh what a joke of a rhyme

Your story has become, this time!

Rolling like a dog in the ecstasy of all that you thought would be yours.

And lulling back to sleep, with tears streaming from illusions of

Something called home.

An impossible dream, my love!

 

Oh constant inmate of wary pleasures!

If only you did not consider me worthy of

Ignorance marauded by your lifeless silence.

We could have lived in that cave between the rocks,

With only the ocean,

A third of our kind.

To know what it is to dismantle only in love

And all shapes of it,

Slowly,

Yet another perfect vanishing act,

To the ground that we fed our prayers to,

Once upon a time.

Like the shipwreck lying fathoms below us

Rusting and rotting with and into nothing

But the belly of the sea,

So sublime.